I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
