there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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