yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
