did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
