Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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