I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
