the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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