You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
