omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
