I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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