She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
