i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
