So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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