I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
