whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize