why didn't you poke me back
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
