Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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