So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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