yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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