the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
