I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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