whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
