ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
