So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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