Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
