doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
