Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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