wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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