I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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