The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
