I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
