Sponge bath it is.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
