Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
