This is not my ceiling
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
