I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I intend to get homeless drunk
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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