just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
