What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just found puke in my bra..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
