She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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