he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
