all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize