A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
