8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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