Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
