Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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