haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish I only lived at night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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