Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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