Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
