She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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