So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
