Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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