sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
