I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize