Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
