You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
