My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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