I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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