wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
