Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
