Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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