Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
