Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
