your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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