school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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