im so drunk with asians
where?
always
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
