It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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