As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
