Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
