the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
how drunk are you?
Several
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
